


Checking in

by TealAlternian



Series: Claws and Scars (a Cookie Run AU) [2]
Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Depression, Eating Disorders, Giving up on life, Isolation, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Self-Hatred, Trauma, all caps text, don’t worry there’s gonna be more parts, invasive thoughts, loneliness/hopelessness, self deprecation, trigger warning, trigger warnings for:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TealAlternian/pseuds/TealAlternian
Summary: It’s been a while since they last came to visit.  Too long really.  Perhaps it’s time to check in.
Series: Claws and Scars (a Cookie Run AU) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848391
Kudos: 15





	Checking in

**Author's Note:**

> (Author's note: Text (in parentheses) means thoughts/feelings)

~~Pitaya’s POV~~

It’s been… a while since they’ve last visited. Over a month now in fact. Over a month with no visits, and they didn’t tell you they would be busy for a while before that, just… nothing.

You know they’re not busy. They never mentioned it, and they don’t have much to do in general. Not a lot of responsibilities to take care of when you’re a dragon. And it’s not like they have any other friends they’re visiting, you know this. If it weren’t for their frequent visits to your island, and your occasional visits to theirs, they would just be by themself all the time (it’s a bit sad really).

You’re a bit worried really. What if something happened to them? Immortal doesn’t mean invulnerable; they could’ve been injured, badly even. At the same time, you kind of doubt that though. It’s hard to injure a dragon, let alone enough that they can’t leave an island for over an entire month.

Or maybe they’re mad at you. Well, more mad than usual anyway. For some reason. You can’t see why though, you didn’t do anything wrong, anything different. There’s no reason that you can think of for them to be mad at you. The thought makes you feel kind of annoyed really; if that’s the problem, why are they so mad? And if not, then where are they?

You know what, fuck it. They’re not going to come visit you? You might as well go visit them yourself. You spread your wings, and take off, heading towards their island.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Ananas’ POV~~

You hate to admit it, but you’re alone; well and truly alone. And honestly? You deserve it (just like you deserved to be punished). You’re pretty fucking awful really; cocky and selfish and self centered, almost narcissistic really. Not to mention that you’re just a burden to anyone who dares interact with you (no wonder they haven’t checked on you, why would they ever want to?). Obnoxious and boring and aggressive, just an eternal downward drag on everyone around you (or you would be if there was anyone left).

When’s the last time you’ve moved exactly? Yesterday probably; you barely got up even, just moved to a different spot, hoping it would be warmer; it wasn’t, it was just as cold as where you were before (you deserve that too, you deserve to be cold, you deserve to be miserable).

You still haven’t gotten up to eat, but you still aren’t hungry either. That’s probably not healthy, at all (it’s not healthy, it’s not healthy at all, and it means you’re sick, hell you’d probably be long dead by now if you could die), but you just… Don’t care anymore. You’re all alone anyway (so fucking alone), and you just, feel empty really. Nothing even matters if no one is around to give a shit about it. No one cares about you, so why care about yourself either? At least there’s nothing left to bother you now.

“Ananasss? Are you here?” SHIT, that startles you (gods you’re pathetic); you didn’t hear them approaching, and now they’re probably going to find you (they’re going to tell you they hate you, they’re going to tell you to leave them alone forever). You stay quiet, hoping they won’t come near you. Maybe the lack of response will make them just go away. Maybe they won’t come look in here (there are barely any rooms here, you’re a fucking idiot to think they won’t). Maybe the approaching footsteps will go away (they’re almost here, they’re going to find you).

“Ananasss? What are you doing? Why are you on the floor?” Gods DAMMIT. They walk closer, stopping in front of you with a sigh. “I know you’re not asssleep. Come on, get up.” You ignore them, absolutely not wanting to respond. Why are they here, what do they want (probably to finally cut you off completely)? Whatever it is, you don’t care (you can’t handle this right now, can’t handle the inevitable hatred). “Ananasss, I know you can hear me.” You still don’t respond, just tilting your head to try to cover your face a bit more, your arms already crossed in front of you.

They sigh again, and you hear them moving over next to you and sitting down. What are they planning…? You still don’t say anything, waiting for them to speak.

“Ananasss… what’s wrong?” The question makes you feel both annoyed and panicked. Why are they asking you that, and how can they tell (it’s obvious, you’re literally lying on the floor and not saying anything)?

You hesitate for a moment before looking up, and over to the side. Pitaya is pretty much right next to you, sitting cross legged just a couple feet away. “… Why are you pretending to care now…?” You internally cringe a bit; your throat hurts from talking for the first time in over a month (not eating or drinking anything for over a week probably doesn’t help either), voice scratchy and tired sounding.

“What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean “pretending to care”?” Their tone sounds both annoyed (fuck, they’re mad at you now) and confused. That just makes you angry though. Why are they acting like they don’t know? “You know what I’m talking about Pitaya…”

They don’t say anything for a minute, but then they just… huff at you in further annoyance. “It’sss been years Ananasss. Why are you ssstill mad at me for sssomething I didn’t do?” They don’t even care (why would they though?). They don’t even care.

You snap at them, not caring that raising your voice will probably hurt. “Exactly, you didn’t do anything! You didn’t try to stop it! You just let it fucking happen, right in front of you! And five years doesn’t change that!”

“Firssst of all, I couldn’t have done anything! Sssecond of all! Fifteen, Ananasss. It’sss been fifteen years sssince it happened.”

Oh. That’s… A lot longer than you thought it would be. “… Doesn’t mean it just doesn’t hurt anymore…” Gods you’re pathetic. You’re weak and you’re awful and you want to cry (you hate crying, it’s humiliating) but you don’t want them to see. They don’t even say anything (probably better that way, they’re not yelling at you yet); all you can hear is their breathing, slow and even, and your own, progressively shakier breathing.

“… I’m, sssorry I sssaid that.” Wait what. “I uh, know that ssstuff can hurt for a long time. I shouldn’t have sssaid that.” They sound… genuinely sorry? What the fuck (it’s fake, it’s fake and they’re about to tell you that they hate you, you know it).

You don’t respond; you don’t want to (you’re a pathetic coward), you feel shaky and off and just wrong. Instead you go back to trying to hide your face behind your arms. And you don’t even know what to say honestly (good, you’re better off just shutting up forever). They apologized, they ACTUALLY apologized, to YOU. And that should be a relief, but it’s not, and you’re still mad and anxious and you just want them to leave so you can cry by yourself.

“Uh… Ananasss? Are you okay?” Why are they asking you this shit? Why won’t they just leave?

“I… No.” You hate yourself for saying it, how much your voice shakes as you speak. You hate telling people how weak you are. But you’re so fucking tired and you’re sick of this, you’re sick of everything. You know it’s not healthy to just stay by yourself and not give a shit about life. But you just… don’t know what you’re supposed to do (it scares you, it scares you that you just don’t have control anymore).

You feel them place their hand on your shoulder, and you want to be mad. You want to be mad and scream and tell them to leave you alone. But you can’t even quite remember the last time you’ve had physical contact with another person (it’s had to be at least months), and you’re desperate for it (that and their hand is warm, and you’re still really cold). So you just let them without protest.

“You need help Ananasss. You’re like… really not okay, it’sss, pretty obviousss really. And I’m shitty at feelings but like. I want to try to help you maybe…? And you’re not going to convince me otherwise.”

The only thing about that that doesn’t surprise you is how stubborn they are about it (they’ve always been a bit stubborn, even when you first knew them). The rest though? You didn’t expect that at all. Do they actually care (they probably just want something from you), enough to really want to help you? You’re not sure you can believe it. It’s so, so confusing.

You turn your head back to them. “Why would you want to do that…? You hate me, I do nothing but piss you off.” You vaguely wonder if this would be easier if you could see their face right now, or harder?

“What? Hate you? Ananasss I don’t fucking hate you, you’re my friend, that’sss why I want to help!”

… Wow you feel like an asshole right now (you are, and an idiot too). You told your only friend they hate you. Like the absolute fucking idiot that you are. Why do they even want to help you when you’re like this? “Oh. I… I guess you can try or whatever then…” You are being just as stubborn about this now and they probably (definitely) know it.

They take their hand off of your shoulder (you miss the contact already, why did they have to do that?) and sigh. “Ssstill ssstubborn as hell about people helping you huh?” You huff quietly, no longer as wary or upset. You feel less shaky too now. “Of course I am, you know me.” They really do, and you know them too (at least you hope you do, but probably not). And it’s startling almost, how comfortable you feel around them now that you’re a bit calmer (still empty, still sad, but calmer). How you feel like you can talk to them about shit (not quite yet, you’re both bad with emotions and you’re just too tired for that right now, but eventually). Hell you’re comfortable with their presence in your own place of living, in a place you wouldn’t let anyone else.

You’re so, so drained from all this, and you know that you’re going to come back down from this slight emotional high soon. But that’s for dealing with later, just like finally getting something to eat. Just like talking about all this.

So for now, you just push yourself up (your arms shake far too much from that), and move so your torso is on their lap (they just let you, they don’t flinch or push you away). “Sssince when are you thisss, touchy? What’sss up with that?” You sigh, trying to make yourself comfortable. “Tired as shit right now…” You’re probably going to be embarrassed by this later, but fuck it, you’re exhausted and cold and your throat hurts from talking, you just want to sleep for a while.

“If you’re tired, sssleep for a bit.” You’re literally on their lap, what do they think you’re doing? “Was about to do that anyway…”

“Good. I’m gonna bother you about shit when you wake up though.” They really are stubborn huh? You’re too tired to argue though. “Fine…” They don’t say anything else though; if they do you’re too out of it to hear them, already as good as asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed part 2 of this AU! Please feel free to leave any comments or feedback you might have!


End file.
